


i didn’t mean it (but what about them?)

by jeonflirts



Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Park Jimin (BTS), Boys In Love, Established Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin, Flirty Park Jimin (BTS), Fluff, Hurt Jeon Jungkook, Hurt Park Jimin (BTS), Idiots in Love, Insecure Jeon Jungkook, Jealous Jeon Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook is Bad at Feelings, Jeon Jungkook is Whipped, M/M, Park Jimin (BTS) is Whipped, Park Jimin (BTS) is a Good Hyung, Park Jimin (BTS) is a Sweetheart, Possessive Jeon Jungkook, Soft Park Jimin (BTS), Top Jeon Jungkook, alrighty lesgetit chief, let’s GOOOO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23517751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonflirts/pseuds/jeonflirts
Summary: Jungkook knows that he sometimes (read: always) lets his feelings of jealousy get the best of him and drive a wedge between he and Jimin’s relationship, and he’s painfully aware that this is one of those times.Luckily Jimin always seems to soften his anger when Jungkook thinks his insecurities won’t let him, and he never loses patience even when he pushes him to his limits.And from the very beginning, Jimin has made it clear that he wants no one but Jungkook.So he thinks that it’s maybe-definitely-for sure high time to start listening.~Translated into Vietnamese: https://my.w.tt/oZv7doBTx5
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 160





	i didn’t mean it (but what about them?)

**Author's Note:**

> listen I know I’m supposed to be updating HTSAFJJ but I felt the urge to do this so just shut up and enjoy the fruits of my labor

Jungkook hadn’t wanted to be here in the first place.   
  
  


He never enjoyed going to big events or high-end award shows, preferring to stay in their house and play Overwatch, as childish as it sounded.

  
  
So he quickly decides to stay by the only person who kept him sane during these things.   
  
  


His boyfriend was probably in the midst of a group of people fawning over him, always one to unconsciously attract everyone in the near vicinity. His personality was intriguing; a mix of shyness that left everyone hungry but a confident flirty nature that had everyone excited for what he’d say next. Jungkook had always found it simultaneously attractive and annoying, the latter feeling prominent before they got together - when Jungkook would push him away only to feel a burning jealousy in his chest when everyone else pulled him closer.

He’d hated Taehyung for a while because of this specific reason. The man was always so touchy with his boyfriend, always calling him his soulmate and treating him better than Jungkook thought he ever could.   
  


  
That feeling had subsided over the years with Jimin’s sweet reassurances and affectionate gestures done just for him, and Jungkook slowly became more confident in Jimin’s love for him. 

But, being a naturally possessive person, Jungkook was still easily angered.   
  
  


So when he pushes through the crowd of people and finds Monsta X’s Wonho with his hand on Jimin’s elbow and a charming smile on his face, laughing with his boyfriend who was leaning on him to laugh, he feels that familiar burning in chest.

“You did good up there, though, seriously,” Wonho was saying.

Jimin’s cheeks flush. “Thanks, you guys did too.”

“Jimin,” Jungkook’s voice is dark and smooth, arm quickly making an appearance around Jimin’s waist, “we need to go. Now.”

Jimin takes one look at Jungkook’s face and cringes away from Wonho’s touch, clearing his throat. “Right, just uh- I’ll leave in a minute. I’m gonna finish up talking to hyung and then I’ll be right there.”

_Hyung?_ Something in Jungkook’s chest flares and he pokes the inside of his cheek, feeling an irrational surge of betrayal aimed at Jimin. “Fine.” He walks away without another word.

They don’t talk to each other again for the next three hours of the event, all the ignoring done on Jungkook’s part despite Jimin’s continuous attempts at a conversation.   
  
  


Jungkook hates this, this not talking to Jimin and watching everyone smile and flirt with his boyfriend without him there to establish his place in the smaller man’s life. As kpop idols they couldn’t let the public know about their relationship, especially if they were gay. It infuriated Jungkook to no end, as he always wanted to show Jimin off and let everyone know who he belonged to, but he understood that he couldn’t damage their reputation. 

His patience only seemed to wear thin as the night went on.

“Kook,” Jimin’s exasperated voice reaches his ears once again and his soft hand takes a hold of Jungkook’s elbow, “you’re being unfair. We were talking about the performance and he made a funny comment, that’s it!”

Jungkook scoffs, acting irritated with Jimin’s persistence though all he felt was hurt, no matter how groundless. “Don’t think he could’ve said something so funny that you were all over him. God, why are you such a, a-”

“A what?” Jimin’s voice is hurt now and he slowly retracts his hand from Jungkook’s elbow. He feels a different burn in his chest this time, something lodged in his throat that he knew to be panic. “A slut? A whore? Is that it?”

Jungkook inhales sharply and he finally looks at Jimin, forgetting that they were still at the the event in front of hundreds of people. “That’s...”

Jimin looked like he was about to cry, a flush rising in his cheeks that Jungkook futilely wished was because of shyness instead of hurt. “I’m... I’ll go tell the hyungs we’re ready to go.”

“Jimin, wait-” Jungkook reaches out to grasp Jimin’s arm and misses, swallowing when the man walks away without looking back, the only sign he was affected being the hand that reached up to wipe away what Jungkook knew was tears from his face.

Jungkook groans and pulls at his hair, feeling a self-loathing he thought he’d left behind when he stopped pushing Jimin away with heartless comments about his weight and rough shoves to hide his insecurity.   
  
  


He thought he’d grown up, but if he judged by the way he’d just made Jimin cry or the way Namjoon was currently looking at him with disappointment as the members file into their respective cars or even the way Jimin silently goes with Taehyung instead of him like usual, he can clearly see through tear blurred eyes that he hadn’t.

He stops the salty tears from cascading down his cheeks quickly, not wanting Seokjin to witness the pathetic sight. He’d brought this upon himself when he decided that he wanted to be a jealous asshole instead of rationally hearing Jimin out even when the man hadn’t done anything to warrant his jealousy in the first place.

When they get into the house Jimin goes straight to his room and Jungkook stupidly does the same, disregarding the well-known fact that Jimin was the type of person to seek comfort when hurt, even by the person he was hurt by.

He did this for the simple reason that he didn’t feel like he deserved to see Jimin. He didn’t deserve his forgiveness or his endless kindness, and definitely not the watery smile he always gave Jungkook when he messed up and accepted him back into his arms without much prompting.

No, he’d hurt Jimin, and while he lays on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, he wonders not for the first time why Jimin had ever told him yes in the first place.   
  
  


He’d been an asshole for years, always choosing to voice made-up snide remarks instead of the awed comments inside his head whenever Jimin did anything at all. He’d always had a crush on him and it scared him; boys weren’t supposed to like other boys and boys were definitely not supposed to like their bandmates. 

A knock on his door shakes him out of his reverie. “Come in.”

Taehyung’s glare is equal parts disappointed and angry. “Fuck did you do this time?”

Jungkook swallows, sitting up on his bed and hesitantly meeting Taehyung’s eyes. “How is he?”

“How is he?” Taehyung scoffs, hand tightening its hold on the door knob. “He’s hurt and unresponsive. I’ve asked him what you did a hundred times but the fucking angel just keeps repeating that you didn’t mean it, and to please not be mad at you, which I’ve pretty much ignored because I’m not feeling very forgiving right now. So what’d you do?” 

Jungkook swallows again and blinks away the tears in his eyes, his chest tightening. He’s always questioned how someone like Jimin ended up with someone like him - possessive, irrational, childish, hurtful him - instead of Taehyung, who’s deep love for him surpassed nearly all others, except Jungkook’s own.

He thinks that might be the only thing he’s got going for him despite the innumerable times Jimin tells him otherwise. Jungkook was well aware that his love for Jimin was unrivaled by anything but Jimin’s love for him, and that no matter how many times he fucked up, that love would always make him crawl back to beg for forgiveness, and he didn’t mind it one bit.  
  
  


So he sighs and stands up, flinching a little at Taehyung’s obvious anger but knowing he deserved it. “I’m sorry, hyung. I really fucked up, I know that. So I’m going to apologize right now.”

Taehyung huffs and rolls his eyes, hand loosening on the door knob and turning around to walk away. “If Jimin tells me you didn’t grovel at his feet I won’t let you near him again, you hear me?”

“Yes sir.” Jungkook shakes his limbs out and readies himself to face the music.

Jimin’s door is partially open so he doesn’t bother to knock, thinking it best to just walk in without giving Jimin a chance to tell him to go. 

“Hyung,” Jungkook’s deep voice permeates through the quiet air of Jimin’s shared room.

The man looks up with cutely wide eyes, mouth hanging open a little before he’s sniffling and wiping tears. “Jungkookie.”

Jungkook’s heart constricts at the sight of his boyfriend’s small figure drowning in his own hoodie, cheeks flushed and eyes puffy. He looked to be wearing nothing but his hoodie and Jungkook briefly feels an all too familiar burning in his chest at the thought of Taehyung being around him when he looked as pretty as this, but he quickly pushes it down, knowing that he’d already fucked up by being jealous for no reason and not willing to continue down the same path.   
  
  


Jimin silently pats the space on the bed next to him but doesn’t meet Jungkook’s eyes, seemingly embarrassed by his state. “Sorry Kookie,” his voice is soft and quiet, soothing Jungkook’s restless heart, “I know I look gross.”

Jungkook frowns and reaches out to his side for Jimin’s head, petting his hair and reveling in the way Jimin relaxes under his touch. “What have I told you about calling yourself anything less than perfect? You look as beautiful as you always do, hyung.”

Jimin just giggles, a little fondly, a lot brokenly. “Right, sorry.”

His hesitant voice breaks Jungkook’s heart and the younger decides that he needed to apologize immediately, if only so he could kiss Jimin to sleep and rest his hurting heart. “Fuck, I’m such an asshole. Why are you the one apologizing right now?” Jimin looked like he was actually going to respond, as if there was any rational reason for his endless kindness, so Jungkook just sighs and rests his forehead on Jimin’s. “Hyung, _I’m_ sorry. I can’t believe I...” Jungkook lets his tears fall now, because he trusts Jimin to accept him and his stupidity. He isn’t disappointed when the smaller wipes them with large, soft sweater paws. “Shit. I didn’t mean to imply those things about you, because the last way I want you to feel is like _that._ I just always want you to be happy and safe, to be giggly and affectionate with _me._ And I’m sorry, fuck, I can’t say it enough, I’m _sorry._ Please, hyung, I promise you. I can be better, I can listen to you and control my anxiety, because that’s all it is. I’m scared that you’ll finally see how much better you can do, that you can get someone older or more experienced or smarter or stronger or funnier, and I’m scared you’ll realize that even if no one deserves you, there’s someone out there who can do so much better than me.”

Jungkook’s cry sounds more like a whine than anything, feeling as if his heart is tearing itself apart after revealing the long buried insecurities hidden deep within it.   
  
  


It’s quiet for a few seconds before Jimin’s sighing. “Kookie,” his hand is gentle and loving, caressing Jungkook’s cheek and forcing him to meet his soft eyes, “I hate that you’re insecure about your place with me, but I just don’t understand it. I promise you, for me, there’s no one else. No one better than my strong, funny, smart, experienced boyfriend. There’s no one with a bigger heart, and there’s no one with brighter eyes, and I’ll be dammed if you can find me someone as handsome as you, do you hear me?” Jungkook chuckles brokenly and lets Jimin lay him down, burying his head in Jimin’s soft stomach and feeling a burst of love at the way he immediately cards his fingers through his hair. “Maybe you aren’t perfect to yourself, no where near it, in your eyes, but for me? For me you put all the stars in the sky yourself. I don’t think you understand that. You hear me, but you aren’t _listening_. Listen to _me_ right now, not yourself, because you’re lying. I’m in love with _you_ , have been for the better part of seven years, and if you think your bouts of jealousy are gonna get rid of me so easily, you obviously don’t know me as well as I thought you did.”

Jungkook’s chuckle is a little brighter this time. He lifts himself up to lay on top of Jimin’s tiny frame, completely covered by Jungkook’s larger one. “How did I get so lucky? I must’ve saved a bunch of babies from a burning building in my past life or something.” Jungkook nuzzles Jimin’s neck, leaving a sweet kiss there. “I’m sorry I’m so possessive, hyungie.”

Jimin giggles mischievously. “Don’t apologize. Actually,” Jungkook can’t see Jimin’s smirk since he’s too busy leaving a trail of kisses on his smooth, creamy neck, but he can practically feel it, “it’s pretty hot. I’ve always liked it when you get possessive like that. And the face you make when you’re jealous? Whoo,” he fans himself dramatically, “is it hot in here or is that just me?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes but can’t stop the fond smile form overtaking his face, leaning down to blow raspberry into Jimin’s unsuspecting ear.   
  
  


“Ew!” he squeals childishly. Jungkook just laughs and captures his lips in a soft, slow kiss. 

This wasn’t the first time he’d fucked up like this and it wouldn’t be the last, but for the first time in his life, Jungkook knows that it’s okay if he’s not the perfect boyfriend he feels like Jimin deserves.

Because in Jimin’s eyes, Jungkook is the only boyfriend he wants, and no matter who tries to change that, Jungkook thinks it’s enough for him.   
  


~

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it <3
> 
> and okay I promise I’ll get another chapter of HTSAFJJ out by tonight at the latest because I know y’all will stone me if I don’t 
> 
> tell me what you thought 💜


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